.... Carolyn ....
I don't know if I want to record this all. Do I? I am usually quite proud of my writing - therefore I show my writing to my significant other. I don't want to go into every tiny detail of our relationship (so far) because she may one day stumble upon this small space on the web and read all about ... well herself. And I don't think that's fair - not without permission anyways. So I'll just leave my ramblings to the general outline of how our relationship has looked so far... The stuff that anyone who knows me knows - and anyone who knows her has (hopefully) heard about as well.
I first saw her on March the 3rd - she was sitting at a large table working on a paper. I noticed her right away - she was absolutely gorgeous. Stunningly beautiful. I don't know if I can find words to describe how attractive this girl is. She knocked me off my feet - I could hardly keep my eyes off her (periferal vision of course; I didn't want to seem like a stalker... heh). I kept looking out for her gaze to rise, so that at the first opportunity, I'd be able to throw a "charming smile" in her direction. As soon as her gaze raised a bit, I looked directly at her and our eyes met. I gave her the happiest grin I could muster at the time (I was working on something due the next day). She immediately smiled back and promptly went back to work.
I knew the smile thing would work because there was this other guy sitting at the desk with her. He was sort of pudgy and quite plain looking. He had smiled at her several times, and she smiled back at him; and they engaged in small talk. After watching them a short while, I realised that they weren't friends, and had just met there the same way I was making efforts to meet this girl.... So I figured if this pudgy, little, plain guy could make a "go" of it - well, so could I!
So I threw her a smile - and she smiled back. Shortly after (I think) she had finished her work, and on the way out our eyes met again and she smiled and waved at me. I kind of half smiled/waved back at her because I wasn't sure if she was looking at me or not - turns out she was. I saw her leave, and immediately started to wrap things up in the hopes that I could find her at the bus stop or something and make small talk. I had a few final things to do, and it took me about five or ten minutes. Now I wasn't even sure if she took the bus home, but I figured it was worth a try - so I hurried down to the bus loop as soon as I could in an effort to catch her. I got to the bus loop and there was no sign of her. Hopes dashed for the day, I prayed that I would see her again soon. I had convinced myself in the library that I should jump on this opportunity to meet this girl; in case I never saw her again.
The next day I was finishing up the project that was due that day. That is, March 4th - a Thursday. I had some classes that day, but between 12:30 and 4:30 I had nothing but time. I was doing research for a paper and some other stuff that required me to move around the library a lot. I was quite frantic to get my work done because it was all super-last minute. (Like usual). Lo and behold - the beautiful girl from last night was working on the exact same computer that I was working on the night before! As luck would have it, she was really close to the stairs I had to constantly use to get the books I needed. I took a seat at a table that faced her and started working. I made four or five trips through that door right next to her computer and up those stairs. Each time I passed her I gave her a grin, a squinty eye look ... (something like this ">_<") or a tongue stick-out look :P ... :D hehe.. Anyways, we were sharing smiles and laughs for most of that day, so on my fifth or sixth time coming down the stairs I had enough confidence to step up to her and introduce myself.
So I stepped up to her desk. She turned towards me and I said "Hi, I'm David... just thought I'd introduce myself..." and she replied immediately with "I'm Carolyn - nice to meet you!" I gave her another big smile and said something incoherent, (but along the lines of "nice to meet you" as well) and went back to my desk to continue working. At four-thirty I had to leave for my class downtown - she was still working at the same computer, so on the way out I crouched down beside her computer with the intention of getting her contact. I had asked for girls' numbers before, and I've always gotten a sort of "wierded-out" response. And a lot of girls I've talked to have told me that they are wierded-out when strange guys come up to them asking for their phone numbers. Therefore I resolved to ask for her MSN contact - or at the least, email address. I crouched down -
"Hey, how's it going?"
"Really good - and you?"
"Just getting some work done before my class..."
"Yeah? Do you have a paper due?"
"Nono, just a proposal - its due actually right now... at 5:30..."
"Really? haha - Thats kind of funny."
"Soo.. what have you been working on?"
"Oh I have three papers all due very soon.."
"Wow you are very studious for having started them so early!"
"Well I don't have much time..............."
"So I was wondering if I could have your email address, or MSN? Do you go on MSN a lot....?"
"mmm - I have MSN but I never go on there, so its better to give you... hm - wait a second."
At this point she turns away from me and I'm thinking "SCORE!!!!!".... heh. She turns back with a note-pad and a pen. She quickly scribbles some stuff on there and hands it to me. Without looking at it I fold it in half and put it into my pocket. I thank her very much and wave my goodbye. Outside the library, I pull the piece of paper out of my pocket and unfold it. The paper is a post-it sticky note, but its a custom one - one of those template ones printed with common names. On the top (in nineties cursive script) it says "A note from...." and on the bottom in more nineties cursive script, "Carolyn..." On the piece of paper she has written her email address (SFU email address) and her phone number. I didn't even ask for it. SCORE!!!
I email her that night telling her that we should hang out sometime - go to the pub for drinks or something. Her initial response comes that same night; and is extremely enthusiastic. I am gaining confidence by the hour as it seems this girl really likes me.... genuinely... We make plans to "maybe" hit the pub after our work on Friday; and I find myself up at the SFU library for the third day in a row (first time this semester!!!) She is at almos the same computer as she was the day before - the 4th - it is currenly Friday the 5th. I am up at SFU helping Yvonne with some homework. After I've helped Yvonne, I notice that Carolyn has taken a computer at her usual spot. She is working on something, and I stop by her to say hello. I sit at her left hand - and looking past her I see the pudgy little plain guy from the wednesday before. He curiously looks over at me - curious to know what is sapping the attention he was getting from Carolyn a moment ago. (The poor guy still doesn't know what happened.) Carolyn and I make small talk and then I leave her to do some work. (At a desk, not at a computer). I choose a desk facing her so that I can look up and shoot her an (award winning) smile every once in a while. She is very responsive. She finishes her work on the computer and starts walking towards the tables. She puts her books down on a different table than the one I'm sitting at, but before she sits down she glances at me, and I take that opportunity to wave her over. She happily gathers her books and settles down beside me at my table.
"You still working on the same thing tonight?"
"Yeah - how about you?"
"No - I handed that in yesterday - when it was due - I'm working on something else now..."
"mmmm..."
"So how about that pub later?... Still up for it?"
"Sure! Of course!"
"Are you almost done your work?"
"Actually, I'm pretty much finished... I had a few more things to do... but whatever..."
"Yeah me too - I just have to sort out my books and then we can go ... sound good?"
"Yup!"
I quickly glance over the titles of my books - picking out the ones I don't want I carry them to the return slot and dump them down it. As I walk towards it, I turn around and motion for her to follow - to keep up! ... heh. I go to the check-out telling her I have to check out some books before we go - she patiently waits in line with me. We cross the courtyard, and walk into the pub - making small talk how niether of us went there very often at all - how she had only been there once, etc etc. They were playing a hockey game in the pub - Canucks and Wings - I think the nucks lost 3 to 1 that night. I chose a nice small table for two near a window in a darker corner of the restaraunt. We sat - and we talked - and talked - and talked. We "clicked". We agreed on a lot of things, and she impressed me with a lot of her views. She seemed quite happy with what I had to say as well, and we got along really well. The time just flew by and I had to go before I knew it. (I was seeing Sooz's band that night in Richmond.... *sigh*). So I sadly had to leave her that day, but was looking forward to seeing her on Sunday... we had made plans to hang out after my work-shift ended at 8am. So we decided to meet in Metrotown at 9:45am on Sunday morning, and to go downtown for a walk. We both prayed for sunny weather.
Friday night I go to see Sooz's band play. By now I'm pretty much taken with Carolyn and am really itching to be with her more... Sooz plays her set and we talk to her a little bit. *shrug* Was a pretty fun night - nothing spectacular. I voted a couple votes for Sooz's band but unfortunately they didn't win.
Saturday - I get off work at 8am and go to bed. I sleep until six or seven and then go to play badminton. I get my ass beaten by Mike and go off to work. Hmmm - I seem to be forgetting something. Saturday night Carolyn was supposed to call me at 12... I think. I can't quite remember anymore. It was Saturday morning that Carolyn called me as she was waking up. She called me at about 20 after seven in the morning. We talked for maybe ten of fifteen minutes. She sounded like she had just woken up - and had a really cute "sleepy" voice on. She let me go as she had to go brush her teeth. Before she hung up she let me know that she was going skiing that day and would be gone pretty much all day. This suited me fine because I was going to sleep the whole day. Heh. Before badminton I gave her another call offering to take her to badminton with my friends. I left it as a voicemail on her cellphone. She called me back that night on my way home from badminton, and I told her that I was in the car and that she should call me again after 12 so that I could talk to her normally while at work. But she never calls! >_<... I get all worried and stuff and wonder if she's forgotten about me. But lo and behold at 4:30 or so, my cel phone rings and who is it - none other than Carolyn. Talking to me in her half sleepy voice again - seems she had fallen asleep - and then woken up in the middle of the night and remembered to phone me! She was semi coherent and very cute. We agreed to meet at Starbucks the following morning at 9:45.
She never showed up. She called me at 10:30 apologizing for having slept in, and feeling really bad, and being really hard on herself. I told her I didn't mind because it wasn't that big a deal. She eventually showed up at around 11am and we went to Starbucks. She bought a muffin and a coffee, and bought me a hot chocolate while she was at it. After some engaging conversation at Starbucks (more "clicking") we went to Chapters to get some people she was seeing that day some cards. She picked some out and purchased them. She then had to leave me for home, and I let her go at the skytrain station with a timid hug. Well - it started timid, but by this time I knew that I really liked this girl, so I gave her a good squeeze at the end. Seems she really appreciated it and let me know in a couple subsequent emails.
On Monday, we met up at school again. This time it was really late, and she was dead tired. But she doggedly waited for me to finish my work so that I could suggest doing something. She seemed to really want to do something with me - and since I didn't really feel like eating - suggested a walk. She took me onto the roof of a building near the AQ. We were both quite shy, but after a little bit - we overcame our shyness (or, she did - she was the one who kissed me first.....) and we ended up making out. It was wonderful. Under a night full of stars, we stood there making out. I asked her tentatively if I could call myself her "boyfriend" from now on - and she agreed wholeheartedly. She eventually had to go home, and so we slowly made our way down to the bus stop. We kissed some more and I bid her goodnight as she stepped onto the bus.
I walked back up towards the library as if I was walking on air. I called my good friend Alessa to tell her the good news. I was ecstatic ... It all felt like a dream. Five minutes into my conversation with Alessa, I get a beep - its Carolyn telling me to look for the moon because its so beautiful tonight. And so it was - that night was Monday the 8th. It is now Friday the 12th, and we've spent as much time as we can spare with each other. She is everything I want in a girlfriend - she is such a good person. Intrinsically good - through and through. But not afraid of being "bad" sometimes.... We've learned a lot about each other in the past week, and moved very fast - .... the knowledge of my impending departure hanging over our relationship like a hangman's noose. Like I said the night of the 8th - we just have to make the best of our time together, and enjoy it for what it is. At least it is not only three days, and actually three months.... At least we have this time with each other.
I'm totally falling for this girl. Hard and fast. She is so wonderful. We get along so well, and both care about each other as much as two people can care about one another. She is a very good person, and I wish I could take her with me to Japan. I am consoled with the knowledge that she will be here when I come home (after a year of teaching). I hope we can start a strong enough relationship, and bond to each other so that we will still feel it a year from now when I'm about to return from Japan. I know it's only been a week - but I feel a deep connection to this girl, and I really want it to work out. I know I'm really young to be thinking about marriage - but in everyone I meet, I look for their merits as a "life partner". No one has fulfilled the role of "perfect wife" as much as Carolyn has. I truly hope that I can capture her heart, with a strong enough force so that she remembers me in the far flung future.
I am truly one of the luckiest people I know. I don't believe how great the past month has been - .... someone like me... ... made happy by a girl like Carolyn. I really don't deserve her - nobody deserves to be treated as well as she treats me. Its really really great. She's so sincere and honest... and affectionate... and loves kissing so damn much... Its like a dream. I never want to wake up. She's one of the most wonderful people I've ever met in my entire life, and I truly hope that I can (at the least) make a lifetime friend out of her.
I'm looking forward to our time together, and regretting my departure date to Japan - even though I am completely unworthy of someone like Carolyn. I will post some pictures when I get the chance....
